Happy Thoughts

Today, let’s celebrate kindness. After reading RT.com, something positive needs to be said about life and humanity.




Have a happy day!


Size, weight, and happiness

Jayne MansfieldYesterday I saw a commercial on TV and was simply disgusted. I don’t remember the company but it was some stepper/climber thing. The woman on this machine was thin and supposedly fit but her legs were no bigger than a regular person’s arms. She appeared to have no body fat or muscle and was not appealing at all. I could have broken her over my knee.


Sarah Wayne Callies

Another example of a woman much too thin is Sarah Wayne Callies, otherwise knows as Lori Grimes from The Walking Dead. She looks like a skeleton. Yikes!

I understand the desire to be fit and thin but our society has taken it to extreme. At some point someone decided it was no longer acceptable to have curves. Women are now expected to look like sticks in order to be considered attractive. These same women continue to get breast augmentation because their bodies have no body. What do they think contributes to having natural breasts?


I am not thin buMarilyn Monroet I’m not fat. I could stand to lose 30 pounds but I’m also very proportionate and people are surprised when I tell them what I weigh. My clothing size is 12-14 or large. When I’m at the weight I like to be, my clothing size is 10-12. At that weight, my belly is not flat but I have no trouble receiving positive attention. I’msmiley face no Marilyn Monroe, but I can hold my own.



Years ago, sexy looked healthy. Today, sexy looks sickly. In other countries, if you can see someone’s rib cage it means that person is starving. In the US, it’s considered healthy.


average woman 2014

Compared to the 1950’s, today’s average woman is taller, has a wider body frame, and weighs about seven more pounds. Models and actresses in 2014 do represent the average American woman. We are about 5’4″ and a size 12. I am both of those things.


Don’t let Hollywood or someone else’s idea of beautiful color the feelings you have toward yourself. Boys and girls are growing up with a warped sense of what’s attractive and healthy. As long as parents allow their children to believe people should look like what is on TV and in magazines, this expectation of starving yourself to be beautiful will only get worse.

Suicide & Endometriosis

Suicide & Endometriosis.

Is marriage necessary?

Couples get married for many reasons: love, money, arrangement, expectations, convenience, green card. Some couples can’t or won’t get married for various reasons: same-sex, religious beliefs, family issues. I’m sure there’s others of both that I’ve missed.

I love to be guaranteemarried. I love to be a wife. Something about the title ‘wife’ means so much more to me than ‘girlfriend’. There is a security in knowing someone loves me enough that he wants others to know that he loves me and is willing to make that type of commitment to show it. Sadly, I’ve made some bad choices in partners and I am embarrassed to admit that I have been divorced twice.

I don’t believe in divorce. I also don’t believe a person should stay married to someone who admits he is too lazy to contribute to the relationship or who is abusive in some manner. There has to be a line when ‘enough is enough’. Had I paid attention to the red flags, I would have run, not walked, in the other direction. I so desperately wanted to be in a relationship and, in my warped sense of love, thought getting married would make everything better. Wrong! I had to do it twice before I learned my lesson.

After much soul searching and counseling, I found someone who is truly wonderful. I stepped out of the comfort zone of what I thought I wanted and genuine love walked into my life. I have no doubt we are in this for the long haul. He is kind, respectful, intelligent, compassionate, sensitive, affectionate, and fun. He makes me laugh every single day and doesn’t care if I do my hair or makeup when we’re going grocery shopping. He plays games with me, dances with me, and wants to spend time with me. We have spent almost all our days together for the last three months and we have not irritated each other once. We’ve had a couple of issues and have been able to discuss them as adults. They are no longer issues. As individuals neither of us are perfect but together we are.

Recently, his family and my family have made marriage-related comments. It’s not a question like “When are you getting married” but his niece did say “When you get married, I’m making the cake” and my brother referred to me as “your wife”. After hearing these comments, I started thinking.lucky

Last week, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to get married, not as a proposal but out of curiosity. After some conversation, he said he would marry me but thought I didn’t want to get married. Honestly, the idea scares the hell out of me. I feel like I’m a two time loser and even though I know it’s finally right, I’m afraid.

My fear makes me consider a few things. Why are some couples together for 30 years, never married and very happy? Why are some couples married for one year and miserable? Why does it matter to me so much?

Commitment is a choice regardless if the couple is married or not. Other than ‘a piece of paper’, is there a difference between the two? Is marriage necessary?

I would truly appreciate others’ perspectives.



What is endometriosis?

According to the Mayo Clinic, endometriosis is “an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus (endometrial implant).”

The Endometriosis Foundation of America estimates 176 million women and girls worldwide suffer from this condition.

No one is sure what causes endometriosis but it can be debilitating. I, for one, would call in sick two days a month if I wouldn’t lose my job. I need to take either eight OTC ibuprofen or six OTC naproxen sodium pills to feel any relief. People are shocked when I tell them about my dosage choices but my other option is to not get out of bed. When I told my doctor, she prescribed a pain killer that is given to people after surgery. It’s my best friend for a couple of days.

When my worst days are during the weekend, I’m very thankful. My weekend is shot but I can stay home and do nothing. I don’t have to put on my happy face and pretend everything is okay. I’m exhausted, cranky, constantly in the bathroom, and in pain. I also want to eat everything in sight.

As a teenager, I started experiencing endometriosis. At the time, I didn’t know what it was but now I have a name for it. My mother would tell me it’s not that bad and to get up and do something. She too has this issue so you’d think she would have been more compassionate.

After I had my son, which I did without pain medication, I now have an accurate comparison of my pain. It’s on the same level as labor pains with a three centimeter dilation.

For about 10 years, I was pain free. I had decided to have a tubal ligation and while the doctor was in there, he removed the unwanted extras. Life was beautiful during my monthly. Eventually, it came back.

I don’t have any problems throughout the rest of the month and I know there’s things I can do to make life a little better during those couple of days but quite simply, I’ll just live with it. I did try birth control pills for a while, skipping the section that allows a woman to have her period. Bad idea! My type of endometriosis grows within the uterine wall and after two months, I couldn’t go the bathroom because my colon was becoming compressed.

If you don’t deal with endometriosis, educate yourself. Comments such as “It’s not that bad” or “You just need to get up and move around” or “Exercise helps with cramps” are not helpful.

We do not need sympathy; we need understanding.



What is art?

I’ve asked myself this question many times, especially after visiting a museum – Who decides when something is art?

Art is in the eye of the beholder but what is someone ‘beholding’ when all I see is a broken chair hanging on a wall? What about a large red dot on a white canvas (not the Japanese flag)? I’m also thinking about The Bean in Chicago.

To me, art is something to be appreciated and not to be analyzed. It should make you smile and appeal to the senses. If a piece of art is considered thought provoking, it’s not art. Solutions to problems need to be thought about and analyzed and problems are definitely appealing to the senses.

I love creativity. There are so many ways creativity is conveyed – sculptures, writings, paintings, home decoration, and fashion are a few examples. In addition, creativity includes problem solving, but let’s focus on art.

Today we were on our way to a family Christmas. As we were traveling down the highway, the sun was setting. Though I couldn’t see the sun, along the horizon there was a beautiful orange color and it gradually changed into a dark blue. Between us and the horizon were trees and with the colors behind the trees, all we could see were their shapes, like shadows. In some sections, the blues and oranges could be seen through the leafless branches and it was beautiful. All I could think of was Bob Ross creating a painting from this view or a photographer creating a fantastic image.

That is art! Visually appealing.

14 Things Every Woman Going Through Divorce Should Hear

14 Things Every Woman Going Through Divorce Should Hear.

We’re pregnant


Yesterday, I watched a “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” marathon. It amazes me a woman can carry a baby for 7-9 months and not know she’s pregnant. At first I was thinking, “How can a woman not know she’s pregnant” but after watching a few episodes and hearing the doctors explain why a woman may not know, the reasoning made sense.

In one particular episode, a woman told she’d never have children so she and her boyfriend didn’t use any protection. She did become pregnant but didn’t know it. During one of the scenes, the pair go to his brother’s house for dinner. After dinner, the brother and wife announce that she’s pregnant. What they said is, “We’re pregnant”. I heard this phrase in another episode and I’ve heard it elsewhere. Huh? Personally, I don’t like it when a couple says ‘We’re pregnant’.

Last time I checked, unless a medical procedure is performed or a miracle occurs, men can’t get pregnant. He doesn’t experience the nausea, swelling, cravings, crankiness, or any of the other symptoms that go along with pregnancy. He also doesn’t experience the pain of childbirth, the difficulty afterward of walking if there’s been tearing from the baby coming through the birth canal, nor the stress of working to lose the weight gained from the pregnancy.

Until any of those things happen, the correct statements are either ‘She’s pregnant’ or ‘We’re going to have a baby’.

My guilty pleasure

I love to watch A Haunting and The Haunted. Occasionally I’ll come across other paranormal shows I enjoy, but these are my usual choices. Whether or not they are true, for me, is irrelevant. I love the suspense that is created, though sometimes it is a little silly. I do believe there is some truth to these two shows and this belief is colored by an experience I had as a teen. My own haunting terrified me. Nothing as dramatic as TV, but scary nonetheless.


Recently, my mom and I were talking about the house where we had lived. I told her about my nightmares and feelings from when we were there. After I told my mom about my experiences, she told me those things had happened to her as well. More than a strange coincidence and rather unnerving. I then told my mom about a conversation I’d had earlier in the day with a friend from high school.

I hadn’t seen this friend for about 15 years and we’d recently reconnected. My boyfriend and I stopped by her house on the way to visit my family. She and I were catching up, talking about our past, and sharing memories. One memory I had mentioned was a little fuzzy to her. I elaborated, reminding her where I lived at the time, and her first response was “Oh, that creepy house”. Wow!

I appreciate my haunting shows much more now. The best time to watch is at night, right before you go to bed.

Ugh, I’m done

Last night I had insomnia. I didn’t go to bed/sleep until roughly 5:30 am and woke at 8:30 am. I didn’t feel tired or out of sorts so I knew I was in my cycle.

Over the last couple of days I’ve been feeling it – irritable, tired, restless, unmotivated, sullen, and generally moody. It feels strange to have such a swing when my meds have been keeping everything in check for almost a year. I feel like a paradox – not bad but not good either.

Logically, I know nothing is wrong. I have a warm and safe place to live, food on my table, healthy relationships, and I am happy with myself. These are NEEDS many people around the world do not, and will never, have yet it’s not enough to keep me stable for the long term.

Sometimes I get angry with myself when I’m in this part of my cycle. I think “What do I have to be depressed about?”. I’m not materialistic, I don’t live outside of my means, I don’t do things to bother my conscious, and my needs are met.  It’s not stress that generates my swings, though stress can exacerbate the swings. Then I remember I was born this way and stop beating myself up. I keep plugging along, holding onto the memory of how I used to be, and know things will improve and even out.

In the meantime, I stay in tune with myself so that I don’t so something stupid, dangerous, or that I’ll regret later.

Speaking logically again, I know others have it far worse than I do. They have serious manic or depressive episodes and can’t rationally evaluate the situation. It’s sad to me knowing there are those who live this way with no support and they don’t understand what’s happening. I know they must feel crazy. I know I did.

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